


Scared of You

by Double-O-Everything (SuperSilverSpy)



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex Rider Needs a Hug, Alex Rider Whump, Alex Rider has PTSD, Alex Rider is a Mess, BAMF Alex Rider, Dark!Alex Rider, Double-O-Everything, Gen, Hurt Alex Rider, OCs - Freeform, Original Character(s), SilverRider, SuperSilverSpy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25596496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSilverSpy/pseuds/Double-O-Everything
Summary: Alex seems scary until you give him his greatest weaknessFor SpyFest 2020
Relationships: Alex Rider & Original Character(s), Alex Rider & Original Female Character(s), Alex Rider & Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32
Collections: Spyfest 2020





	Scared of You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I’ve always wondered where and when SpyFest happened  
> And I only found out a few days ago when I googled it  
> Just in time to hop on the tail end of this train  
> Anyway, I’m going for tragedy so buckle up  
> Enjoy!

Special Agent Mara Cain was being briefed for what would be her most dangerous mission yet in the tiny underground office of a CIA bunker.

“...and you’ll both have the honor of working with the world’s best, Agent R”

She could practically _feel_ the man beside her tense in confusion and anger. Mara was puzzled as well. After all, weren’t the world’s best already in this room? They’d worked with many agencies across the globe, sometimes together, sometimes not. It made no difference, surely there must be a mistake.

There wasn’t.

A young man with serious eyes and equally brown hair strode into the room, looking like he didn’t belong. Yet he did of course, one could sense it. From the moment he stepped into the room. It was in the way he walked, confident in a manner not many could reasonably achieve. The way his head stayed high and his eyes seemed to know everything. The way even Byrne, from miles away behind a camera, looked his way when he walked through that door. Silently, looking for all the world like he could kill them all before she could even blink. Which, she’d admit, he probably could. His aura radiated danger. Those cold, calculating orbs held too much for anyone to look at for more than a moment. This man was not to be trifled with.

Her partner however, didn’t get the memo and openly gaped. “He’s only a kid!”

Said kid’s expression darkened at that, though he grinned at them a moment later. It clearly wasn’t a friendly one. He may look like a kid, she thought, but he’d been through too much. She recognized it clearly.

“Well he’s the Senior Agent, to both of you. So deal with it.” Glancing at their new leader, Byrne sighs “tell me if they give you any trouble, R.”

“Don’t worry Joe, I’m sure we can figure things out just fine” the words were said with yet another smile, sharp and deadly.

* * *

  
The woman quickly proved to be the more reasonable of the two, Alex observed. He’d known beforehand from her file that she would be. Having had to work with significantly more people in her past than the other. She’d reluctantly accepted him as her superior. Though he knew it wouldn’t be hard to break it.   
  


The male agent however, seemed indifferent. Repeatedly asking question after question about him, his past, and personal life. None of which received any real answers of course, it certainly didn’t help with the anger issues. A proud man, that one. Never taken orders from one younger than him in his life. He was supposedly, the strategist of the two. Though looking at the plans laid out before them, Alex wondered who’d given him that title, and why they still had a job.

There were countless problems with the “plan” just at first glance. Infiltrating a terrorist cell was really not that hard- when he was on his own. Looking across the table at the man, he noted the stubbornness etched along the lines of his frame. They’d read Alex’s file, he knew. It contained little to nothing. Simply stating that he was their resident terrorist expert, and had a rank unheard of in the espionage world since before he came along.

“...they’ll have extra security here, that would never work because we won’t have access to those doors...cameras would catch us for sure…that’s not even technologically possible in such a small amount of time...you can’t possibly be serious”

Alex looked him straight in the eye. The other looked away first. Agent Cain appeared impressed at the display, but R could tell the other man wasn’t so easily swayed.

Later that day, deep into the night. He looked over the edited plans and prepared for capture- and escape. Alex would pick his battles, and his new students would learn their first lesson.

* * *

  
Who did the kid think he was? 100% success rate? A fluke! That’s all it was, surely someone was playing a trick on him somewhere. Kids didn’t belong in war, never have and never will. There’s no way R was an actual Agent, it just simply wasn’t possible for someone to go on so many missions at that age. _Superior my a**_ he thought. Everything was going according to plan too. The kid was wrong, see? They were going to get the intel, get out, and-

BOOM! 

R appeared to be the only one prepared for the subsequent explosion and capture that followed. In fact, he looked perfectly at home with it. Dropping his gun as the cool barrel of another was pressed to Special Agent Wade Brown’s head. He winced.

Waking up with his limbs secured tightly to a chair, with the feeling of drugs pumping through his system was surprisingly not a common thing he woke up to. Not all spies infiltrated terrorist cells nor were constantly captured. Agent R was hanging, by his wrists, with chains and shackles. Much to Wade’s chagrin. They must’ve known of the kid’s “reputation,” the thought came unbidden to his mind.

Though the boy looked alright and aware. He couldn’t help but think of the unnatural quality to the entire situation. It worried him, how at ease the kid appeared. Whether capable or not, one so young should never be here.

The door opened, and in came a man who had eyes for only R. Walking up slowly to the boy with a sadistic gleam in his eye.

“Don’t touch him!” Agent Brown yelled, but the man only chuckled.

R ignored him, speaking instead to the man not inches away. “A little cliché, don’t you think?” the boy asked, glancing at the shackles, “very medieval, Mister-Psychotic-Evil-Dictator-of-Sadistic-Terrorists. I’m impressed.” Followed by a nice big wad of spittle to the cheek to show just how _impressed_ he was.

The man scowled at him, murderous expression clear on his face as he wiped at the saliva. 

Wade was shocked. What was the kid _doing?_ He was going to get himself killed! Agent Cain to his right had donned an unreadable expression, but the panic was evident in her eyes. 

Some thugs came rushing in, “sir there’s an emergency, they need you now”

Face twisting in annoyance, the Terrorist Head sneered, “I’m no fool so as to underestimate your reputation, little Rider. You’ll be here when I get back”

He pulled a knife from his sleeve, jamming it right into the boy’s shoulder. Wade watched him bite back a cry of pain, he yelled out “kid!” as the knife was pressured down, the sound of something tearing nearly being drowned out by Mara’s own shout of

“R! Stop, You’re hurting him!”

Yet the young man didn’t make a sound, ignored their questions even after the man left. Chose instead to wrench the blade from his arm with his teeth. A half opened lock, loosened cuff hinges, and two dislocated thumbs later. Agent R dropped silently to the ground, landing in a crouch.

Wade Brown learned respect that day, as Rider killed the one who’d stabbed him, got the intel they’d come for, and led them safely out of the building.

* * *

After that, Agent Brown was much less obstructive, following the plans Alex came up with and gradually coming to trust him. 

He could see, in the other agent’s eyes though, their thoughts on his age. In the moments where they remembered it, thought him vulnerable even when he was anything but.

Sometimes, they would forget how old he was. When he killed, or led, or saved. Until the next time he got hurt that is, treating him like a little kid. It annoyed him to no end.

Alex has come to appreciate them for their skills and personalities, as time went on and they did more and more together. 

Wade was a good man, honorable. He’d been in the military before being a spy. Though it’d been a long time ago, the soldier in him had not gone. When any other spy would choose to leave him behind, Agent Brown didn’t, and so Alex owed him.

The man was a technology wiz, excellent shot, and very good at blending in. He was charismatic in nature, and had a good sense of humor once you got to know him. Not to mention the Agent’s fierce determination. Alex never met anyone with endurance the likes of which Wade possessed. 

Mara was incredibly loyal, as well as mentally and emotionally strong, the strongest he’d ever met. 

She was smart as well, skilled at reading people. Alex knew she’d figured out much about his past, more than he’d ever plan on telling anyone.

It bothered her, he knew. Agent Cain’s loyalty to and belief in espionage and agencies. It clashed with what she knew of him. 

Yet she never asked, unlike Wade, and somehow always understood. She’d respected him from the start, and by now the feeling was mutual.

Knives were her thing, as was manipulation, interrogation, and survival. He had a feeling she’d been trained from a younger age than most.

Alex liked them both, Brown’s charm, and Cain’s sarcasm, there was a cynic after his own heart. They were reliable and efficient. He knew it wasn’t going to last forever, that eventually one or more of them would die before himself. That it would inevitably be his fault.

So he kept his distance, did his best to remain unattached. Too much loss had been suffered for him to ever be able to get so close again.

Though he trusted them to some extent, and eventually they would worm their way into a title somewhere in the area of friend…

* * *

Wade was a changed man. In just a few months, Rider had shown him more than he’d ever learned in his entire life. The boy was traumatized, one could see it if they just looked. There was no denying his competency though. As much as Agent Brown hates to admit it, R was indeed the best, and the ends appeared to very nearly justify the means, whatever those may be. (He suspected they weren’t consented to.)

“Wait, Rider? As in John Rider?”

He’d remembered asking, remembered the following conversation. The moment he realized this _Agent-_ this _boy_ most likely had no one left. That the kid’s parents were dead and so most likely was everyone else in R’s life, everyone except for the government.

It made him sick. Though the young man made it easy to forget. So most of the time, it was just R. The best of the best, their leader and superior. An excellent Agent who could hold the world on his back without breaking sweat.

“I’m not a kid” 

Said agent had informed him one day, that dead look in his eyes, the posture of someone far, far older evident in his frame. Wade couldn’t help but think of the truth in that statement, especially now.

Surrounded by assassins sent as an ambush. Watching in horror as R killed them ruthlessly, painfully. Mara has gone down, bullet straight through the abdomen. Agent Brown knelt at her side, attempting in vain to stop the bleeding.

Reminiscing on the expression that had flashed across the Agent’s face when she’d gone down. The absolute rage, hatred and fear, burning deep in those furious, brown depths. 

Blood sprayed everywhere. It wasn’t so much an ambush, or even really a fight, a massacre would be more accurate. For Rider was a one-man killing machine. Sliding through their ranks, slashing, shooting, punching, kicking, stabbing left and right. 

It was over faster than it had any right to be, with his Leader standing, practically unscathed, in a bloodbath of his own making. 

No, Wade thought. This man was no kid.

* * *

  
It’d been weeks since the incident. Weeks since Mara had nearly died. Since he’d seen that look of fear on her face, the utter terror in her eyes. The way both his subordinates had been horrified. 

Alex remembered like it was just yesterday, how he’d nearly killed Wade. How he’d taken that step, something terrible, and murderous swirling in his gut. 

He’d failed to recognize friend from foe in that moment, that single, precious moment. It could not happen again, he’d make sure of it.

That was why, tonight he was leaving them. Alex had talked to Joe, had worked things out. They’d all be reassigned. It may be cowardly in some respects, but it was for their own good.

They’d been walking on eggshells for the past few weeks, and he just couldn’t stand it anymore. It was time to leave before they left him.

He’d woken from the nightmare at exactly the right time, the same time, he knew he would. It was the one he’d been having since that day, the one that started and ended at the same time every night.

Alex grabbed his packed bag and left the room.

* * *

Mara was waiting for him, of course she was. She knew him too well. Rider cared for her, like a commander cares for his soldiers, and maybe a bit more than that. 

She cared for him like a friend.

As his friend, she would not let him run away, not like this. Sure, he had scared her that day, so many weeks ago, but she knew R had scared himself far more than he had her and Wade.

They were as close to a family as the young man had left, and she knew it. 

He stopped in the doorway, staring at her. “You can’t stop me,” he says.

“Don’t go,” she answered, “what’s best for you is what’s best for us, and you can’t just run away.”

“I can and I will, you can’t say you weren’t afraid of me that day” he says, walking towards her, “I saw you, and I saw him too. There are things in my past- things I’ve done. Things I can’t control. I’m too dangerous”

“We are the only ones who can truly help you, and you know it. Yes, you did give us quite a scare, but we still care about you” she means every word, hopefully he’ll see it, “we are willing to stay by your side, and help you with all those problems, no matter what.”

“Well I’m not willing to let you risk it.” He says it with an air of finality, like _and that’s that_. 

It is not though, not if she has anything to say about it. He needs them, and if not them, then someone else. 

She has a feeling that if he leaves, the man would have neither.

He’s walking past her now, heading to the door when it happens.

She tosses it to him.

“What’s this?” He asks, looking down and beginning to open it.

“It’s a special communications device so we ca-”

R stumbles, letting out a horrible, terrified sound. It’s like a squeak married a whimper and had a kid that just watched both its parents get brutally murdered.

She rushed over to a sight no one else had ever seen. Rider had sunk to the ground, staring horrified into the device, at the mirror. 

For that’s what it was, a device that doubled as something that showed your reflection. She’d had no idea it’d have that effect on him.

Yet here he was. Rocking back and forth, knees drawn up to his chest, looking impossibly small, like a child. A little, traumatized child.

The vacant look in his eyes, the way his hands clutched the mirror till his knuckles turned white. He looked utterly petrified. It scared _her_ , more than anything ever had.

A man, tall, strong, deadly, moments before. Now, reduced to this- this kid. This little, fear filled kid.

She tried in vain to get the mirror away from him, calling his name over and over again. 

Mara would’ve never imagined in a million years that this would be what could bring him down. The great, Alex Rider diminished to nothing by the sight of himself.

Not so scary anymore, was he.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in the AR fandom so...please tell me what you thought  
> I hope I portrayed him well  
> The mirror thing was not my idea  
> It came from the amazing lauraeb5 (ao3)/britt299919 (ff.net)  
> And their fic Beating the Odds  
> Which I highly recommend you read (it’s a MCU xover)  
> The Alex in this fic also kind came from that one too...  
> Mara Cain and Wade Brown are entirely my own OCs though  
> Anyway, hope you guys liked it  
> Have a nice day!
> 
> (Also, this fic is crossposted to ff.net of course)


End file.
